


Atonement

by damnjooon (orphan_account)



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Car Accidents, Character Death, Graphic Description, Hallucinations, Kidnapping, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Torture, Violence, basically murderer jinwoo, have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 04:03:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11638530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/damnjooon





	Atonement

It had been a quiet few days. They hadn't been bothering him as much lately, lying around, drinking, smoking. It wasn't uncommon though, they would leave him alone, let him get well rested, and then start up again with renewed energy, breaking him down until he would do anything to make them stop.  
He should've known. He should've known that the cycle would start over. He should've known better than to go out, but he did need food, and what harm could he do at the grocery store in the middle of the night?

"Lots." Seungyoon said, appearing right next to Jinwoo's face, so close that he could feel the other man's hot breath on his cheek. Jinwoo leaned over, pushing the shopping cart faster down the aisle, trying to get away from him, but Seungyoon stayed beside him, standing too close for comfort.

"Don't." Jinwoo whispered, casting a glance over his shoulder to make sure nobody was watching. "Not tonight."

"We'll do it whenever we want to." a voice countered, it was Mino. "You shouldn't worry so much dude, doesn't look like there's anybody interesting here. 'Cept us of course."

Jinwoo glanced around to affirm their words, finding no one in his immediate area but he could only hear the faint scratching of a few carts far away from him, where he hoped the stayed. They were right, there were only two registers open this late at night, one manned by an older woman and the other by a teenage boy, neither of which were their type. 

He laughed and hopped on the front of the cart, letting Jinwoo push him around like a little kid.

"Yeah, don't worry so much." Seunghoon butted in, appearing on the opposite side of you as Seungyoon. "We got you."

"Yeah." Jinwoo echoed with a breathless laugh, browsing the different frozen dinners he could hoard. He tried not to go anywhere because he never knew when they would choose someone, and he could never refuse. So when he did go out, he stocked up on everything he could, liquor, cigarettes, and food.

Mino hopped off of the cart when Jinwoo stopped and skipped up and down the aisle, humming and knocking things off of the shelves.

"Stop that!" Jinwoo whispered harshly, throwing another nervous glance over his shoulder.

"Why?" Mino asked, smirking and knocking more boxes down. "I won't get kicked out, you will."

"And then I'll starve and then who will do your dirty work?" Jinwoo attempted to reason, wincing at his own choice of words.

"He's right, you need to stop." Seungyoon said, staring the other man down.

"Fine." Mino conceded with a pout, trudging to the end of the aisle and looking out.

"Woah." he breathed. "Guys, take a look at this one."

Jinwoo ignored them as they walked by to join Mino.

"Holy shit." Seunghoon said with a whistle.

"Looks like you were wrong Mino." Seungyoon said, his gaze steady on something as he turned his body towards Jinwoo, "This is the one."

"No." Jinwoo stated, picking out a few dinners and placing them in the cart. In a second they were all around him, dragging him to the end of the aisle before Seungyoon gripped his hair and tilted his head towards the opposite end of the store.

"We want that one. Go try to talk with her." Seungyoon hissed, shoving him forward.

Jinwoo stumbled, but stopped himself, standing in the middle of the main aisle and staring at you, fighting the urge to do what they want.

"I-I can't do this, it's wrong." he stuttered, backing up and running outside to his car. His hands were shaking so badly he struggled to get the key in the lock. When he finally did he pulled the door open and quickly got in the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut and locking the doors. Leaning his head back he took a deep breath,

 _Finally, peace and quiet..._ he thought.

“Ha! That was fun!” Mino laughed from behind him, startling Jinwoo and causing him to jump. 

“Damnit.” Jinwoo sighed, resting his head on the top of the steering wheel and closing his eyes.

“You shouldn’t have tried to leave us…” Seungyoon chastised, having appeared out of nowhere in the passenger’s seat. “I was going to give you a break, but now… I just can’t. You need to learn your lesson.”

“What do you mean?” Jinwoo asked, not looking up.

“There she is.” Seungyoon whispered, grabbing Jinwoo by his hair once again and making him watch the young woman as she pushed her cart to her car, popping open the trunk and beginning to load her groceries inside. 

“Boy, that water looks mighty heavy Jinwoo, you should go help her.” Seunghoon suggested.

“No.” Jinwoo replied sternly, swallowing hard and clenching his teeth, fighting the urge to do what they say. 

“That’s not very gentlemanly.” Mino tutted, watching Jinwoo through the rearview mirror with a disappointed expression.

“Go.” Seungyoon said, letting go of Jinwoo’s hair with a push towards the door, settling back into his seat as Jinwoo got out of the car and walked towards the young woman. 

“H-hi.” he greeted you quietly.

“Oh my god!” you gasped, holding your chest at the surprise. “I didn’t see you there!” 

“Sorry!” he quickly apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you! I was just going to ask if you wanted help with the case of water?” 

“Oh… I think I’m okay, thank you though.” you replied, leaning down to pick up the case for yourself. 

“No. Let me help you.” he insisted, reaching out to take the water from you. 

“It’s really okay.” you said, taking a step back. 

“No! I’m helping you! I have to!” he yelled, yanking the large case out of your hands and placing it in the trunk of your small car.

“O-okay! Thanks!” you stuttered, picking up your keys out of the cart and backing towards the driver’s door.

“You don’t have to be afraid.” he said softly, attempting to comfort you as he followed you. Glancing around the parking lot, you found it empty as you reached down to unlock the door. “It’ll only hurt this once.” 

You stopped dead in your tracks, paralyzed by fear with your door half open as he caught up to you, grabbing the back of your head and slamming it against the sharp metal before you could get away, before you could scream.

He dragged you to his car where the trunk sat open and threw you inside.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, staring at you for a moment, watching a line of blood drip from your temple onto your white shirt and spread before shutting the trunk. 

He got in the driver’s seat and turned on the car, but he didn’t leave, he just sat there, processing what he had done. 

“Good job.” Seungyoon said, congratulating him with a wide smile, illuminated by the light of the car radio. “But you better go fast, someone’s coming.”  
Jinwoo’s head snapped towards the grocery store and he saw an employee jogging towards his car. He panicked and threw the car in gear before speeding out of the parking lot and away from the lights of the small town.

“Woohoo!” Mino whooped, laughing maniacally. “Let’s gooooo!” 

 

 _Faster, faster. I have to go faster. I have to get out of here._ he thought, pressing his foot harder into the pedal, speeding along the back roads, lucky that no cars were around him. You were banging on the trunk and screaming, it was so loud, it felt like you were inside his head. That mixed with the loud yelling and laughing coming from Seunghoon and Mino, he was going insane.

“SHUT. UP.” he shouted, the hammering pain in his mind causing him to squeeze his eyes shut, and slam his head back into the headrest repeatedly, anything to get it to stop. All the while his foot was steadily pressing down on the pedal, causing him to gain speed too quickly and his eyes opened right when he came to a sharp curve, he didn’t have time to react and the car flew off of the dark road, slamming into a tree and crushing the front of the car. His head hit the steering wheel and then was slammed back into the seat by the airbag, knocking him unconscious. 

\------------------------------

The white walls made the fluorescent lights shine brighter, flashing above him quickly and making him it easier to close his eyes. Squeaks and bumps, jarring him, mixing with the non-stop talking above him that disturb his attempts at slumber. 

“Look at me.” they said.

“Stay with me.” they begged.

But he didn’t want to. He only wanted to sleep.

A loud bang and the white ceiling tiles were casted in shadow, the only light source a circle above his head. 

_Somebody turn off the light, I’m trying to sleep,_ he thought.

He was lifted, he was flying, but then he fell, the cold, hard surface underneath him keeping him awake.

A nap was all he wanted. 

A woman was approaching him now, she wasn’t a doctor, she was in normal clothes. Skinny jeans, t-shirt, _The Beatles_ , it said.   
_I like The Beatles too_ , he thought. _Maybe she’ll help me._   
_Tell them to let me sleep._ He asked her, the woman smiled and took his hand. 

She was cold. 

The light above him faded to nothing and the sharp coldness underneath him was now painfully hot, there was a shrill beep sounding in his mind. He winced, bracing himself against it as it warped and turned into a twisted and high pitched version of carnival music. The woman was still beside him, holding his hand and helping him stand as he looked   
around. 

“Who are you?” he croaked out, his voice raspy with dryness. The woman let go of his hand and he panicked, reaching his arms out to find her again.

“Hello?” he called.

“I’m Y/N.” you said, your voice coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once. Jinwoo ducked his head down in response, thinking he could get away from your voice as it filled the air above him.

“Who is touching me.” he whispered, petrified and rooted to the spot as a hand closed over his shoulder, gripping it hard and digging sharp nails into his skin.

“It’s me Jinwoo, don’t you remember me?” you asked him, walking into his field of vision with a hurt expression.   
Jinwoo sucked in a breath when he saw you, bloodied and battered, hair missing in clumps with lines of red crisscrossing your body, your clothes hanging in tatters across your body. The band on your shirt turned from a horizontal line to scattered body parts printed in black and white. 

"I-I didn't..." he began, his words dropping off as he stared at you, an apology teetering on the tip of his tongue, but falling off before he could manage to voice it.

"You're right, Jinwoo. You didn't, but you were going to. This is how I would've ended up, and you know it." you countered, an edge to your voice that was angry yet subdued. 

He knew she was right, so he changed the subject, not ready to face his own guilt.

"How do you know my name?" he asked quietly, suddenly unable to meet your eyes.

"They told me." you said, casting a glance over his shoulder. He turned around slowly, somehow knowing who he would find.  
He hadn't even looked up from the ground when he heard them, he had taken his short moments of peace for granted as he raised his gaze to find three familiar faces standing in front of him.

"Hiya." Mino said, an evil smile splitting his face.

"No." Jinwoo whispered, dropping to his knees.

"Please!" he began yelling, begging, grabbing at his own hair and tugging, ripping it out and raking his own nails down his cheeks as the carnival music returned, this time even louder than before. "Make it stop! I'll do anything! Just please! Make it stop!"

He was sobbing, looking up at the pitch black sky, calling for anyone or anything to help him.

"You're pathetic." Seungyoon scoffed, grabbing him by the arm and hauling him upright. "Stop your fucking whining and come with us."

"Why should I?" Jinwoo croaked.

"Don't worry. We're not here to make you do anything bad, we're ready to move on in that respect. We've had a change of heart you see, we think that you need to atone for what you've done. What you did all by yourself." Seungyoon spat, pulling Jinwoo down a corridor of broken games, a string of lights illuminating the dark path in front of you a few feet at a time. He could almost hear the knocking of bottles as they passed the remnants of a ring toss and the echoes of children's laughter filled his ears as he saw the ever deteriorating toys hanging in pieces from the broken wood of the booths. The others followed close behind, he could hear Mino skipping around and laughing and Jinwoo wondered how he always remained so happy.

"You guys made me do all that stuff, I didn't want to!" Jinwoo protested.

"No we didn't." Seunghoon said, appearing beside him, hands tucked into his pockets as he looked over. "We're not real Jinwoo. This is all in your mind. It's always been in your mind. You've never been able to handle the fact that these sick desires were your own, so you created us to put the blame somewhere else."

"What?" Jinwoo asked in disbelief, he could hardly process what was being said because the music was piercing every thought before it could even form.  
Seungyoon stopped walking with a sigh and yanked Jinwoo towards him so that their faces were inches apart.

"We. Are. Not. Real." he said slowly before pushing Jinwoo forward. He lost his balance and fell to his knees before three small tents, striped red and white to match the music that still consumed his mind. Seungyoon resumed walking and took his place outside the last tent while Seunghoon and Mino took the first and second respectively and you stood beside Jinwoo, helping him up and leading him to the first tent. You stopped him before he went inside to give him one last warning before you disappeared,

"Don't try to run, that'll only make it worse."

Those words resonated with familiarity, echoing within his mind as he walked into the tent to find only a single dentist's chair under an old hanging lamp, he gazed at it blankly for a moment before his eyes widened as he realized what it was.  
Seunghoon chuckled,

"You almost didn't recognize it did you? It's brand new... clean. No rips or blood stains on it yet." he said, walking into a corner of the tent that wasn't within the circle of light the lamp provided and coming back pushing a tray of metal tools, each one was polished to perfection.  
Seunghoon positioned the tray next to the chair before he slowly made his way back over to Jinwoo, rearing his fist back once he was close enough and punching Jinwoo in the chin. He was hit so hard he fell backwards, too dizzy to do anything but groan in protest as he was dragged to the chair and heaved onto it before being strapped down. Seunghoon stared down at him and tilted his head, shaking it as he straightened up and turned to look over at the tools.

"Which one did you use on her first?" he asked, he was talking mostly to himself, but Jinwoo could answer him, he wanted to. He remembered every detail of that first girl. How she screamed, how she bled, how she looked at him with fear in her eyes until she gazed upon at nothing at all. It was a mess because he hesitated, he mutilated her but it was still art. Abstract lines of red covering her body, mixing with the colors of her clothes and causing other hues to spread throughout, the beauty was worth the pain to him, especially because he wasn't the one getting hurt. He watched, wide-eyed, helpless, and knowing what was to come, as Seunghoon picked up a scalpel and pressed it to the outside edge of Jinwoo's collarbone, dragging it across the taut skin to the edge of the other. Jinwoo gritted his teeth, holding back his sounds of pain and strained against the straps. The blood pooled before overflowing and cascading down the space between the bones, soaking into his shirt and spreading through, the faded blue of his shirt turning a deep shade of purple.

"You know what, I can see why this would appeal to you." Seunghoon said as he watched the blood work it's way farther down Jinwoo's shirt. "I might actually enjoy this."  
He continued for what felt like hours, cutting and cutting and cutting until there was hardly a space left, he never tired of the screams that eventually ripped their way out of Jinwoo’s throat. That was when he stopped, staring down at Jinwoo who was barely conscious and very weak from the pain.

“I’ll stop there.” Seunghoon said. “If only because you have two more people to go through and I can’t kill you just yet.”

Jinwoo could only gargle in the form of a response.

“Shh.” Seunghoon said, moving around the chair and unstrapping him. “You’re going to need that energy.”

Jinwoo hissed in pain as Seunghoon picked him up, carrying him out of the tent and over to the next one where he was passed over to Mino, who carried him into his own tent.   
The same chair sat under the same lamp with the same tools only this time the blood stains were dry and the tools were slightly rusted. Mino laid him down on the chair and strapped him in before moving over to the tray of tools, picking up the scalpel and examining it.

 

“I can’t believe you never cleaned these. There was no reason not to, you never let them live long enough for the infection to start.” he said, setting the scalpel back down and picking up another instrument. It was a tooth scraper, exactly like you would find at the dentist’s office, and if it was sharp enough, it was great for puncturing skin. Jinwoo had spent time studying the body, learning it’s most sensitive and vulnerable areas.

“God. Seunghoon really fucked you up.” Mino sighed. “I can’t work with you like this. I can hardly see anything!”

He snapped his fingers and suddenly Jinwoo could breathe again. He could no longer taste blood and he was strong enough to talk.

“How did you do that?” he asked, gasping for breath.

“Magic.” Mino responded sarcastically, not giving Jinwoo time to ask him for a real answer before he began. “Oh and don’t worry. This will be the shortest one.” 

This time he created a game of connect the dots along the pressure points of Jinwoo’s body, starting just below the points of his jaw and moving down from there. Mino created a constellation of scarlet stars as he moved from point to point, pressing down until the blunt edge of the scraper pierced his skin. Jinwoo’s back arched at the pain, but he refused to yell out, he refused to let Mino win.

“Not painful enough?” Mino asked, stopping and making eye contact with Jinwoo as the carnival music appeared inside his mind once again, raising to an earsplitting volume as he began again.

"Please!" Jinwoo begged between gasps of pain. "Please stop! I'm sorry!"

Mino only laughed and continued his ministrations for what felt like an eternity longer before he finally stopped, setting the scraper down on the tray and walking around a breathless Jinwoo to unstrap him from the chair. Mino helped Jinwoo up, allowing him to wrap a weak arm around his neck to support his seemingly feeble body as he was walked out of the tent and to the next. Jinwoo could only imagine what was to be found in there, what pain he would have to endure, so as he was being passed from Mino to Seungyoon he ducked under their arms, using what little adrenaline he had to propel him through the aisle of decimated games towards you, because something in his mind told him that you would help him, that you would save him from the bedlam.  
Right when he got to you his legs gave out and he fell onto the ground, the music stopped with the impact and the silence that replaced it was maddening, he heaved himself onto his knees and looked up at you, clasping his hands together in penitence as sobs racked his body.

"Take me back!" he screamed. "Get me out of here!"

You could only look down upon him, an inkling of pity showing itself in the back of your mind, but you pushed it down as the three other men arrived, circling around Jinwoo. His gaze remained fixated on you as they taunted him, reminding him of every terrible thing he'd ever done and making sure he knew it was his fault, telling him to confess, and he did. It didn't take long before he was howling out his repentance, saying that he kidnapped, tortured, and killed all those women and used their blood as the red paint in the portraits he made of them.

Jinwoo gasped and opened his eyes, not knowing when he had closed them. He was shocked to find himself inside a hospital room, the white of the walls blinding compared to the darkness he had come out of. There were three police officers standing around him, one on each side and the last at the foot of the bed. They were all staring at him in disbelief, never having heard a comatose patient scream out a confession.

 

Jinwoo didn't fight them when they handcuffed him and lead him to the police car, he sat in silence as the reached the police station, he only said that he didn't want a lawyer when he was sat down in the interrogation room. He told them he would plead guilty, with no hope or wish for a shortened sentence. He was free from his hallucinations which was solace enough. The judge agreed with his plea and sentenced him to death row where he sat for a year, never speaking, eating only when necessary, and counting down the days until he could finally be at rest.

Finally the day came where he would leave the world and everything in it behind him. He walked to the execution room with a small smile on his face. The guards yelled at him for it, but he didn't react. They wouldn't understand, they _couldn't._

He sat down in the electric chair, placing his hands, legs, and head where they could be strapped down, his eyes peacefully closed. Once he was ready the executioner stood with one hand on the switch and asked him if he had any last words. Jinwoo shook his head no and opened his eyes, finding two people standing on either side of his chair in the   
reflection of the one-way glass before him, three of them men and the last a woman.

_"No."_

The executioner flipped the switch and he was gone, given only a moment of peace before the buzzing of electricity that filled his ears warped into something terribly familiar... a twisted and high pitched version of carnival music.


End file.
